


Don't Feel Like Dancing

by Owlwithafringe



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bitchy TARDIS, Dancing, Fluff, M/M, Plotting, Top Ten Worst Hits of Human Music, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-26
Packaged: 2018-01-20 22:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1527959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlwithafringe/pseuds/Owlwithafringe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On one such afternoon, when the Master had tired of books and rubber ducks and even vaguely inappropriate touching, the Master works out how to hack the Tardis and make it play music. He blasts out all the Doctor's favorites - and by that he means the top ten worst hits of the human race and decides his evil plot of the day will be making the Doctor dance with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Feel Like Dancing

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got around to writing the fic that goes with this: archaeaologies.tumblr.com/post/79443735630/headcanon-the-master-loves-turning-on-music-in
> 
> So many thanks to beespiesandplaid for giving ideas, checking mistakes and basically motivating me through this entire fic.

The Master was idly wandering through the Tardis corridors - to suggest he was lost would be a preposterous thing. The damned machine was as stubborn as it’s owner, and still hadn't forgiven him for the Paradox Machine stunt. She seemed to take a twisted pleasure in making the Master's life as difficult as possible. If it wasn't so damn irritating, the Master would probably have approved. 

Being locked in the Tardis however was not without its perks. He'd quickly gone through all of the books in the library and had also discovered the swimming pool. He developed a fleet of paper boats to attack the rubber ducks he'd found in the Doctor's personal bathroom. The Doctor's voice had taken on a wonderful high pitched quality as he saw his priceless books float around in the swimming pool with his ducks. Yes, that had been a good day.

He'd found other ways to amuse himself, like building himself a TCE using some paper clips, a toothbrush, some buttons and a nail file. Unfortunately, that had been confiscated rather quickly after a run in on Clom with the locals. Needless to say, he hadn't been let out of the Tardis again for while, because his 'bad behaviour', and had been subjected to many disappointed looks from the Doctor. 

There was only so much you could do though, cooped up in the Tardis, and the Master was beginning to think he'd tried every combination of activities to amuse himself. He'd even watched every episode of the Teletubbies. Three times. 

He was beginning to become bored, and the Tardis was keeping him from getting into any trouble. There was only so much the Master could take, and if he wasn't already crazy he would have feared that he was beginning to become so. 

There was only one way to cure his boredom, if the Tardis wasn't letting him have any fun: He'd have to go find the Doctor.

Annoying the Doctor was always amusing. There were endless possibilities as to how could do it. He could mention Gallifrey and watch the Doctor become sad. He could mention the Year That Never Was, with Handsome Jack and Martha, and watch him become mad. But his favourite past time, by far was making him uncomfortable. The odd innuendo, the subtle flirting, the not-so-subtle touching. It was hilarious watching the Doctor's reactions. He could practically hear the gears work in the Doctor's head, trying deduce to motivations behind his actions. The Master didn't even have to do anything, just stand back and watch, as the Doctor worked himself into a stew.

The Master found the console room with relative ease. It was the one place the Tardis never hid from him; Probably taunting him about how close he could be to leaving, but never actually being able to. _Bitch._

The Doctor was under the console, his Converse clad feet sticking out. The Master made his way up to the raised platform, and leaned against the railing. He refused to sit on that ratty seat, Rassilon only knows what had been there. 

The Master stood silently for a moment, just watching the Doctor work. He could hear the buzzing of the sonic and the Doctor humming tunelessly as he worked. He hadn't noticed the Master come in yet. Good. 

He silently made his way over to the console making sure not to alert the Doctor.

The Master had the perfect opportunity to utilise a plan that he'd made up after accidentally discovering a button on the Tardis console. He had been trying to find a way to fly the Tardis to a planet so he could have some fun, or possibly into a black hole if all failed, but the Tardis kept giving him shocks every time he touched anything to do with navigation. Of course, the Master wasn't put off by this and persevered anyway, and pressed every button you could find which led to the interesting discovery of the Master's new favourite button. Was a button which blew up planets, or kicked puppies? Unfortunately not. It was though, a button that blasted music out of the Tardis' rather impressive sound system. 

The Master quickly discovered how to make playlists of his favourite songs and often played them when he knew the Doctor was in the depths of the Tardis somewhere, probably lamenting over his lost pet humans - after all, he didn't want to give away this tactical advantage he had, with this button.

The Master went over to where the button was - between the Spacial Navigator and the Ketchup and Mustard levers, and found his favourite playlist. It was labelled 'The Master's favourite songs (or the top ten worst hits of humanity). It included songs like 'Gangnam Style', 'Friday', 'What Does The Fox Say' and 'Blurred Lines'. Also known as some of the most annoying songs around. He enjoyed the catchy lyrics and beats, and the fact that it irritated people so much. He loved just turning it up really loudly, and dancing.

The Master loved dancing and he wasn't shy about the fact. It's just that if he did it in front of the Doctor, then the Doctor would look at him with fond eyes and might gush at him, and accidently proclaim his love or something.

But today had been carefully planned. He'd been acting overly-flamboyant all week, and even the Doctor's patience was wearing thin. So if the Master, oh I don't know, walked in and turned on the most annoying songs in existence and forced the Doctor to dance, he'd probably burst an artery or two and take them somewhere before the Master drove him crazy - well, even more crazy anyway.

It was a fool proof plan. There was absolutely no way it wouldn't work. The Master congratulated himself on his genius. So when he pressed the button, and ‘Stayin Alive’ by the Bee gees started blasting out, he was all very confident. 

The Master gracefully skidded around the console - dancing to the song similar to how he did on the Valiant - to where the Doctor was sitting, rubbing his head and swearing under his breath.

\---

The Doctor had been working peacefully on TARDIS maintenance. He had been neglecting her lately, but he hadn’t had the free time to sit and give her the attention she deserved.

The Master however, hadn’t shown in his face in a couple of hours – probably the TARDIS’s doing – so the Doctor took that as a go ahead to finally get some work done.

A manner of things needed fixing: Some circuitry had come loose, which meant every time the Doctor tried to shower, goo, not unlike the remains of a Slitheen, poured out instead of water. His wardrobe was malfunctioning as well – they kept supplying maid outfits in his size rather than his usual suits. The Doctor suspected the Master had something to do with that. Oh, and the parking break had come a bit loose so that needed fixing.

The Doctor had taken off his suit jacket and tie, and rolled up his sleeves. Cracking on, he got right underneath the TARDIS console to where all the wires were and starting tweaking. 

He had been lying on his back working on calibrating the spacial temporal disrupter for a couple of hours in the quiet, with only the noise of the sonic buzzing and him humming a Gallifreyan lullaby when suddenly a loud blast of music interrupted his concentration and work.

The Doctor lurched up in fright and wacked his forehead against the edge of the console with a thud. It was safe to say that it hurt. _A lot._ There would probably be a bruise there later but luckily no concussion. 

The Doctor pulled himself out from underneath the console and sat up rubbing the sore spot on his head whilst swearing under his breath in Old High Gallifreyan. 

The Timelord glanced up to find the source of the music, just in time to see the only other surviving member of his species cha-cha slide around the console and start grooving to the beat of the music.  
Ah. So that’s where the Master had gotten to. 

The Doctor watched him stupidly in confusion from his seat on the floor. Perhaps he did have concussion. He _did_ hit his head really hard. It wasn’t too far-fetched to guess that he was actually unconscious right now and that this was all a concussed-induced dream.. _or_ the Master really was dancing around his TARDIS to human music from the nineteen-seventies. Apparently everything really is possible.

\---

The Master grinned in delight as his plan worked. The Doctor was sitting on the floor staring at him with those big doe-eyes in complete and utter confusion. The poor dear had probably just had a mental meltdown. Oh well.

The Master sashayed to the rhythm as he walked over to the Doctor, mouthing the words to the well-known song. He knew he probably looked like a lunatic – well he was, wasn’t he – but he was enjoying this way too much to even consider stopping. 

The Master stood over the Doctor, still swaying to the music and with a maniacal grin offered him a hand with a dramatic flourish, to help him up off the floor.

Without a word the Doctor hesitantly accepted it, confusion still marring his young features. The Doctor at that moment in time reminded the Master of that ridiculous, human, animated character, Bambi.

This wouldn’t do. The Doctor was thinking too much. He could give himself an aneurism _after_ the Master had had his fun. (So then the Master could watch him whilst it happened and enjoy himself all over again.) The Doctor needed to just _stop_ and just _be_. Living in the moment and such bollocks. The Doctor should understand that better than anyone, being the adrenaline junkie he is. 

The Master dragged the Doctor up from the ground without much effort. He might have been smaller than him but the Doctor didn’t seem to have any body mass what so ever. Come to think of it, in all the months he’d stayed in the TARDIS he couldn’t recall ever seeing the Doctor eat anything other than the odd hobnob with his tea. He was probably felt he didn’t deserve to eat after committing genocide however many times, the stupid martyr or some other idiotic angst-filled reason. Not that the Master cared or anything. He wasn’t his mother. If he wanted to starve himself then that was just fine by him. It might help escape easier.

Still clutching the Doctor’s hand the Master started to dance again, closing his eyes and let himself loose himself in the blissful beat.

“What are you doing?” 

The Doctor had to shout over the music to make himself heard. The Master peeled open an eye.

“I’m _bored_.”

The Master tugged the Doctor around in some sort of effort to dance but it was hard when only one dance partner was co-operating and the other standing ram-rod straight. 

“I’m busy doing TARDIS maintenance. If you’re bored we can go and do something afterwards if you promise to behave yourself.”

“I’m not a naughty child Doctor, in need of reprimanding. In fact if I recall rightly I’m actually older than you which means I’m well within my rights to boss you around so shut-up and dance with me.”

“Ah, so that’s where you’re superiority complex comes from: your delusions about age.”

“My superiority complex comes from the fact that I’m superior to everything. Now less talking and more dancing.”

“But-“

“Hush now and listen to your Master.”

The Doctor sniggered at the Master, but nonetheless he relented and allowed himself to be swung around by an energetic Master. 

The Master led them in a dance around the TARDIS console, song after song until they couldn’t dance anymore. Eventually they stopped and sat on the floor together, catching their breath as the song shifted to another one, grinning at each other like nothing had changed since they were children.

The plan it seemed, had been a success. Admittedly for the Master, it was all a bit of a come down from universal domination but in his opinion it was pretty close second.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave kudos and comments, feedback is always appreciated and motivates me to write more! Come and find me on Tumblr at **[jimkivk](http://jimkivk.tumblr.com/)** , or if you're a book fan, come and find my book blog, **[williamherxndale](http://williamherxndale.tumblr.com/)**. (◡‿◡✿)


End file.
